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I give up on everything. There really isn’t a point anymore. I’m sick of being sad. Being sad when I’m asleep. Being sad when I’m awake. Being sad when I’m happy. I just want to be numb. I want the pain to stop. It physically hurts to be alive right now. My life is a mess. I had a panic attack outside of the movie theater yesterday because all of my friends decided we should go to dinner after we saw the movie and I had no way to get out of it. One of the guys was my ride home and if he went to dinner I had to too. I just feel so low. I feel like nothing is ever going to change and I’m stuck in this endless loop of hell and the pain never stops. I would take anything over this. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m sick and tired of constantly fighting. 
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